Everything That’s Wrong With “Emily In Paris” According To An Actual French Person. First off, we’re not *that* mean! by Marie Telling, BuzzFeed Contributor
Hi! I’m Marie, I’m French, I live in Paris, and I’m here to talk to you about Emily in Paris.
By now the whole world has seemingly watched Netflix’s new show about an American girl’s adventures in France. If you haven’t, it’s the story of Emily, a twentysomething from Chicago who loves jogging, bright colors, and her Cubs-obsessed, bro-ey boyfriend. One day her job sends her to Paris, where she discovers la joie de vivre. So I thought I’d set a few things straight and share everything that is wrong with Emily in Paris. (Which, for the record, I actually enjoyed in all its ridiculousness!!). Even if the show is so unrealistic that it makes Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s classic 1999 masterpiece, Passport to Paris, look like a gritty documentary.
1. First off, what is this nonsense about Emmanuel Macron being “hot”??
I’m not here to yuck anybody’s yum, but I encourage anyone who believes Macron to be hot to watch this speech and report back. But let’s move on.
2. Early on, we’re told that Emily’s new apartment is a chambre de bonne.
Emily arriving at her Parisian apartment. That’s what we call the old, tiny maid’s quarters in Parisian buildings that were later turned into tiny studios But this is NOT a chambre de bonne. This is a big, beautiful apartment by Parisian standards. It’s got several windows (!!!) and a fully equipped kitchen (!!!!!!). THIS is a chambre de bonne: a shot of a real-life chambre de bonne — where the shower stall is right next to the kitchen sink. Note how the shower is located right next to the kitchen space, which only includes two burner plates, a mini fridge, and a sink (where you probably also have to brush your teeth). I’m assuming the bathroom is in the hallway and you have to share it with several other renters — which is fairly common for chambres de bonne.
3. Sure, Paris is filled with love and beauty. It’s also often gross and exhausting.
Emily on the phone talking about how much she loves her new life in Paris. Maybe it’s because I just spent 40 minutes in a packed metro, sweating under my mask, to come home to a tiny apartment where I can hear my neighbor screaming at her toddler through the paper-thin walls, but I’m not feeling the love, romance, light, and beauty right now.
4. No vibrator, no matter how powerful, would blow out the fuse of an entire Parisian neighborhood. Our power system is equipped to handle all sorts of equipment.
5. This might come as a shock, but we actually work and are expected to come to the office on time. No company I know of starts work at 10:30 a.m. Most French workdays start at 8:30 or 9 a.m. and end around 7 p.m. (We do have real lunch breaks, though, and more paid time off than in the US.)
6. While we’re talking infrastructure: No, our plumbing isn’t “500 years old. Literally.” Most buildings in Paris aren’t even 200 years old, and believe it or not, we’ve updated a few things throughout the years. We even have drinking water coming out of those pipes!
7. I doubt that Carla Bruni and Brigitte Macron send each other dumb memes about aging vaginas. But I gotta admire this show’s chutzpah.
8. I may be biased here, but hear me out: We’re not mean!
Emily telling her friend that the people in Paris are “so mean”. If Emily wants people to be kind to her, maybe she should learn a little about local customs and basic manners. If you come into a store, don’t bother to say “Bonjour,” and start talking in English right away, people might not take it super well. It wouldn’t cross my mind, for instance, to go into an office or a bakery in the US, start speaking French, and lecture people on how we do it back home, expecting them to engage.
9. And an entire office wouldn’t start calling you “la plouc” because you rub them the wrong way. At least, not to your face. That’s just cruel.
10. Contrary to what the show would have you believe, older Frenchwomen don’t go around screaming at and scheming against young American women. I don’t know why they decided to make a hag out of every mature Frenchwoman on the show, but it really got on my nerves. I shouldn’t even have to write this, but Frenchwomen, no matter their age, aren’t all mean, jealous, and anti-feminist.
And so on… to be continued on BuzzFeed.com